I am offering kirtan before the satsangs in the ashram in Rishikesh.
Usually it is a great joy to lead people into chanting but this time I feel a bit stuck in my offering.
The image of a transparent box that kept me confined came to my mind.
The repetitive nature of the mantra’s that I have chanted for over a decade, the adjusting to the ashram’s ways, the idea of having to ‘deliver’ devotion at 4pm every day.... it all felt a bit to structured and limiting to the fluid and free nature of my being.
I just watched this feeling unfold and then yesterday my heart whispered to me: can you find the freedom that is right here, hidden in the depth of every tone that moves through your body? Can you dissolve into it? Are you willing to let it devour you? Real freedom is unconditional of circumstances. The voice is enough, and your willingness.
The limiting factor is actually the mind that prevents the deepest surrender to the voice in each moment. The mind that keeps finding faults in the circumstances as a way to hold on to itself.
I listened, and the voice carried me back home.
