“What is a common quality in all the women you have spoken to? " I asked a friend who writes a book with conversations with female spiritual leaders and senior practitioners from different spiritual traditions.
"I was the confidence", she said.
"They were all so confident in their way of being, in what they had to share.
It was a humble confidence though, one that was lacking arrogance.
There was no need to convince anybody, to be heard or to prove their worth.
There is a simplicity there, a naturalness. And they are happy to share from that place."
My thoughts went to Tenzin Palmo, the very inspiring Tibetan Buddhist nun who is so passionate about supporting female practitioners.
In the book ‘Cave in the Snow’ Tenzin Palmo often emphasises the importance of confidence for those on the spiritual path. In a spiritual landscape that is mostly dominated by male leading figures and practices suiting male partitioners something is missing for women to fully nourish the growth of that confidence within themselves: female spiritual role models.
Role models that are authentic and have remained true to their feminine ways.
To hear teachers like Irinia Tweedie say: "I feel that we women can reach the exact same heights as men, providing we keep our femininity….it is in the female nature to be powerful".
Female role models provide a tangible example of how women can fully engage in the spiritual path and attain deep realisations.
They are important because they can help dispel the societal and internalised limitations that many women face. Thousands of years of male domination and suppression of the wisdom and power of the feminine in the spiritual field can not be washed away easily.
Even today many spiritual traditions withhold women from full ordination, leadership positions, acces to the teachings, practical and financial support and practices that are suiting the female (subtle) body and mind.
This is not just violent towards women, but towards the whole humankind.
We need as many awake people as possible to turn the course of history that is written today.
Why exclude half of the population?
I feel that as women we need not to wait for men to open their minds and hearts, temples, lineages and ashrams. We need to actively support each-other, organise ourselves, build our own communities and meet with elders who can plant the seed that of confidence that dedicated and deep spiritual growth is available for women too in our hearts. Doubts about our capabilities will be a big hindrance on the path.
Compared to men, women may have less inclination to publish books, build ashrams or online platforms and therefore our power may be less visible. But as practicioners we do need the presence of accomplished women, as their presence challenges the centuries old idea that is so deeply ingrained in all of us: the idea that women are less capable of achieving full realisation than men and are not able to lead others.
Together women can ignite the transformation of traditional spiritual practices that are born our of the male-dominated traditions into spiritual practices and organisations that are more suitable for the female (subtle) form.
Together we can celebrate the life dedicated to spiritual growth, a life without forced hierarchy, a life that is inclusive and compassionate. A life that embraces more poetic ways of teaching such a music, dance, arts and poetry.
To begin the celebration I would like to share a passage from ‘Cave in the snow’:
"To me the special female quality (which of course many men have as well) is first of all a sharpness, a clarity. It cuts through — especially intellectual ossification. It’s very sharp and gets to the point. To me the Dakini principle stands for he intuitive force. Women get it in a flash — they are not interested in intellectual discussion which they normally find dry and cold with minimum appeal. To women that’s the long way of going about it. They go through the back door! This reveals itself in women being more practical in heir approach, less abstract and idealistic than men. They want to know ‘What can we do?” They’re not entranced by theories and ideas — they want to be able to crunch it between their teeth," she said.
"At the same time women have a nurturing, a softness, a gentleness. Women tend to be more into feeling than men, which makes it easier to develop Bodhicitta. Loving kindness is innate in women, because of the mothering factor. A mother is prepared to die for her child. That impulse can be developed towards all beings. Again, it is a matter of feeling, not intellect. Those are not just useful qualities — they are essential."
Happy international women’s day! I celebrate you!
Note 1 : ‘Cave in the Snow’ by Vicky Mackenzie (a book about the life of Tenzin Palmo)
Note 2: ‘Women awaking project’ by Erica Uma Tudong